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Intergenerational Worship:
Why it matters

What is worship?

Let’s get one thing clear right from the start: entertainment is not the primary goal of worship. That doesn’t mean that it can’t be very engaging and enjoyable at times … but it’s not the reason we do it! In worship God comes to us, in ways both mysterious and ordinary, through his Word and the sacraments. We respond in prayer and praise to this amazing God.

Pastor Stephen highlighted the importance of worship in his article written for the Ringwood congregation “Let the Children Come” in 2007:

The worship of God’s people is the source and power-house of our faith and life, so it cannot be regarded as an expendable or optional activity for any Christian of any age. Here the forgiveness of sins is given, the Word is read, taught and proclaimed, and here the Body and Blood of Christ are given.

It is not merely a means of “transferring information or content”. Worship is multi-layered. There is much more happening than what is immediately noticed – God’s presence is powerfully working in our hearts, feeding, strengthening and blessing us. This is happening in many unseen and mysterious ways, as well as the more obvious ones. The auditory impact of the music and spoken word, the visually rich environment of worship is speaking through symbols and images, the ritual of worship, is forming people (of all ages) in their faith. (Pietsch 2007)

Worship and Public church

In the second half of the 20th century, families were increasingly encouraged to interact with ministries on the edge of congregational life, dropping off their children at Sunday School and Youth group, but somehow never really getting involved in the guts of congregational life and work.

Researchers talk about this as a “Mickey Mouse ears” style of congregational ministry. It was thought that you started with young people dabbling on the edge of the church and then, from there, somehow, people would move into the heart of things. The research has proved that it doesn’t happen that way.

In contrast, intergenerational ministry is about moving these side ministries back into the mainstream. Our ministry to children and young people begins in the congregation itself – in the public church.

In the study of Exemplary Youth Ministry, the influence of the “public church” on the faith of our children and young people was highlighted via 22 of the 44 Faith Assets™ that contribute to mature faith in young people (Martinson 2005). Worship is the central and most important activity we do as “public church” and so it sets the tone for how a congregation embodies the factors that matter for influencing the faith – faith maturity, hospitality, striving for excellence, promoting service, warmth, thinking and valuing the participation and leadership of young people, to name a few.

During this research, Rollie Martinson spoke with many young people and he found that worship was the “number one” youth activity in their congregation. One young man remarked that you can chat and have fun with people anywhere but worship “is the only place where you can be ushered into the presence of God and practise adoring, beseeching God together.” (Martinson 2006)

Also, as Rollie put it, worship in these congregations was not about aesthetics but about engagement – does it usher us into an encounter with a mysterious living God? – it just blew past the “worship wars” issues of style and taste!  This showed how, once again, churches can get too preoccupied with peripheral issues in ministry with young people – thinking that band music or informal worship are the essential ingredients that will attract them or bring them back – when what really helps is the faithfulness of the parents and simply feeling connected to a caring community.

Being a congregation that is inclusive of all generations begins with worship that is inclusive of all generations – and so worship is where ministry to children and young people and families starts.

Let the little children come

People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." —Luke 18:15-17

Rollie Martinson drew a picture for us at the Faith that Sticks conference in 2006 of what intergenerational, inclusive worship could look like. This congregation offers “Worship sitters” to help families with young children – the youth and confirmands are teaching younger children how to worship – and, in the process, both teacher and student are learning! There is a ring of cushions and soft bible toys for toddlers, right in the middle of the body of worshipers. Yes, there’s a cry room for settling down upset children, but it’s only needed for an occasional visit. “They got Luke 18!” exclaimed Rollie. This is not a fantasy picture either – this congregation exists!

On the other hand, Rollie came across church bodies providing worship statistics for his research, but only for church members aged 15 and above. Horrified children weren’t considered important enough to include in the statistics, he asked them if people aged below 15 do not worship?

How are young people ever going to learn to worship if they are not worshiping? Is that something we simply pick up … at age 15? Worship is a discipline, it’s practices … and so it’s not any wonder that young people find our worship experiences in the US totally foreign. They have not been ushered into worship. It doesn’t need to happen that way. (Martinson 2006)

Pastor Stephen highlighted the legacy of “Mickey Mouse ears” congregational ministry:

Generations of church families have been faithful in sending their kids to Sunday School, confirmation and other non-worship activities instead of keeping them in church, and have wondered why all this teaching and training has not resulted in their kids growing into worshipping adults. It is because for most of their childhood in the church they have been given the message that worship is not for them, and they have consequently not ever learned the skills and knowledge to help with active participation in it. Why would they suddenly want to take it up as adults? (Pietsch 2007)

How do we usher our children into worship? Worship takes practice. It takes time and effort to learn, but the benefits are worth it. Understanding what the colours means, what is happening in different parts of the liturgy, looking at the words in hymn and songs, listening to the sermon, joining in with the prayers, are all things we learn over time. It’s a bit like studying God’s Word at home – if it were easy to do, and required no effort, not so many of us would feel guilty about the dust gathering on our Bibles!

Children can be encouraged to be part of worship from infancy. Even babies can gradually grow in awareness that this place is different – this is somehow set apart from everyday life. This came up in the Exemplary Youth Ministry research:

“People fail to realize the impact of even bringing an infant to adult worship. If reading to a baby while pregnant affects the infant, then why not expose them to the presence of God before they gain the mental knowledge?” David Lewis said. “It becomes part of their life. If they are exposed early on, if the parents are stable and can keep them involved, that child has a far better chance of staying faithful. They learn the faithfulness of the parents.” (Rosencrans 2005)

Although not so relevant to our Lutheran style of worship this quote highlights what must have been an amazing worship experience for this toddler:

During a recent monastery visit, I watched dumbfounded as the Abbess scooped up a toddler in a hug as Vigil began, then moved slowly around the nave with the little girl (and her doll) during the service. She touched everything she could reach, she sang as Mother sang, and two hours later she fell asleep in Mother's embrace. Wow! I thought, that's how to introduce a child to the kingdom of God! (Krause 2000)

Children certainly aren’t adults and we can’t expect them to be. They won’t be able to sit and listen to the whole service for quite some time but that’s no reason to exclude them. As Pastor Stephen commented:

Children do not (are not able to) behave like adults i.e. sit and be quiet for extended periods. This is a simple fact that cannot be denied. They need to move, fiddle and fidget. Even kids who are normally fairly engaged in worship will have a bad day. Young children – infants and toddlers in particular – will sometimes cry and scream and need to be taken out until they settle.

This is a part of having children anywhere and we need to be flexible enough to cope with it, and trust that God is doing his work in their hearts (and our hearts too) despite the difficulties! It isn’t easy, but it is worth it!

Would we exclude children from an extended family birthday celebration because we do not like their restlessness or their noise? Would we exclude kids from a trip to see an AFL footy match because they cannot concentrate and be attentive for all of it? (Pietsch 2007)

Jesus said, “Let the little children come.” Let’s not hinder them! Making worship a welcoming environment for children may require changes for some congregations, or a change in attitude, but it’s an important area to address if we want them still worshiping as adults.

Welcoming Children in our Worship

Pastor Stephen listed some useful points to consider in providing a worship environment suitable for children:

If we seriously take up the vital point that children belong in our worship services, then we need to do more than just have them there and expect them to cope without our support. We need to actively involve them and include them:

• Keep an eye to the length of worship so that behavioural issues associated with tiredness do not emerge too much.
• Give children name tags so that adults can learn who they are, greet them and speak with them – they are members after all.
• Give them visual access to the sanctuary where the action is happening.
• Have good and appropriate visual material as aids to the worship.
• Parents need to spend some effort quietly explaining what is happening in the worship to children and facilitating their involvement.
• Give out worksheets or activity bags as the sermon begins (perhaps at the end of the children’s address) to provide the younger children with an activity that will occupy them for some minutes. 
• Have some space in the church which is flexible so that small children move and play without making a lot of noise.
• Have seating which is suitable, ergonomic and helpful for children as well as adults.
• Have a children’s address which is integrated into the themes of the day.
• Involve them (as appropriate) in the liturgical functions of the laity (the offering, readings, prayers, lighting candles, in processions for high feast days).
• Have at least some music which they can recognize and participate in at each service.

(Pietsch 2007)

It’s important for members to be understanding if a congregation seeks to introduce changes like these to make worship more accessible for youngsters. Maybe not all changes will be ones that you like and maybe not all of them will be worth continuing long term but our children belong in worship and it’s necessary to welcome them and help them feel they belong. To explore what can be done is the first and vital step.

It’s very important that our worship is accessible for all generations. It’s not necessary to only have modern songs or only have hymns. A variety of musical styles is a great blessing and children and adults all benefit from exposure to music they wouldn’t normally listen to. It also doesn’t hurt for children to get an early start in not expecting everything to suit their own tastes all the time – let’s not pass on the “worship wars” to the next generation! Parents can help with unfamiliar hymns by picking out interesting lyrics or drawing attention to how an organist who improvises highlights the words or changes the harmonies. All adults can also help by being positive themselves even if it’s not their favourite service order or they don’t like many of the songs/hymns that particular Sunday.

Sermon time

The biggest challenge for intergenerational worship is the very diverse needs of members during the sermon. Adults, some of them with their sense of hearing on the decline, want to hear what the pastor has to tell them about God’s Word and how it relates to their lives. Children have less visual and auditory things going on to engage them and can become restless.

However it is still valuable for children to be present in this part of worship. Children can begin to learn about considering the needs of others. When my children were older babies and toddlers, most weeks I would spend some of sermon time quietly whispering into their ear about what was going on – that the people around us wanted to listen to the special teaching from the pastor (‘Daddy’ in our case!) and it was a time for them to be especially quiet for others. Of course they were super quiet while listening to mum's voice and over time the message appears to have sunk in too!

Children also do start to pick up some of what the pastor is saying from a fairly young age, especially if a parent or carer draws their attention to keys topics or insights. If they are absent from church for the sermon most of the time this gradual growing up into listening to the message won’t happen. Additionally, if alternate activities have been arranged while they are younger, there may even be quite some resistance and resentment at being expected to stay for the sermon later on.

Other adults around young families can also practice being considerate and loving in their approach. Sometimes it’s just a tough day for a family! Thankfully, in these days of modern technology, it’s often not too hard to request a copy of the sermon from the pastor, or maybe look it up on the parish web site, to catch up on what may have been missed.

In providing accessible worship for all generations, larger congregations may also like to consider the practical step of installing an ‘auditory loop’ with headphones for those whose hearing isn’t what it used to be.

Some practical ideas that have worked for parents over the years are:

• keeping back some special toys or activity books for sermon time that children don’t see throughout the week;
• allowing children to draw or fill in worksheets and puzzles relating to the main theme of the day – it can be a big help for parents if their congregation provides something like this;
• quietly whispering a Bible story into a child’s ear – if possible, one matching the day’s Bible readings and even better if it's the reading the sermon is based on; (Some multi-tasking mums can even half catch what the sermon is about while doing this!)
• having something quiet and non-messy for children to nibble on;
• lots of cuddles – and not only with a parent. (I’m often surprised by who has a few lollies tucked away in a handbag ready for a visiting child!)

How can I help?

Being an “AAA” worshiper – available, affirming and authentic – will be as valuable a contribution as any in passing on the practice of worship.

As parents or grandparents, we can be available to explain what is happening in worship and encourage the participation of the children in our care; we can recognise and affirm them as they begin to join in with worship and we can be authentic in joining in with worship ourselves.

For worshipers not directly involved with ushering children into worship, be affirming of the young children and parents around you, even if they are having a grumpy day (as families do from time to time). Sometimes you can be available to help parents teach their children the practices of worship or to assist with the little emergencies that children sometimes create. Finally, authentically participate and practise worship yourself – soak up being in the presence of a wonderful and loving God and sharing this with the people he has placed around you.

Coralie Pietsch, May 2008

See also:

• Introduction to Intergenerational Ministry: A brief history
• Mixing up the generations: Why a congregation with ‘Snow on the Roof” is great!
• Worship tips for families

References:

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Pietsch, Stephen J (2007), Let the children come. Ringwood Knox Lutheran Parish.

Martinson, Roland et al (2005), Exemplary Youth Ministry in Congregations: Faith Assets™—Contributors  to Mature Faith in Youth. Exemplary Youth Ministry, St. Paul, Minnesota. (View online at http://www.exemplarym.com/docs/worddoc/spiritdoc/3faithoutcomes.doc [Word document 281KB])

Martinson, Roland (2006), Faith that Sticks Conference: Growing disciples through home and church. Set of audio CDs.

Rosencrans, Kendra (2005) Exemplary Youth Ministries in Twenty-One Congregations: Their Stories. Exemplary Youth Ministry, St. Paul, Minnesota. (View online at http://www.exemplarym.com/docs/worddoc/spiritdoc/storybookallpdf.pdf [PDF file 721 KB])

Krause, Nichola T (2000), The Tale of a Lazy Parent: Introducing children to worship services. St. Nicholas Orthodox Church (Orthodox Church in America), Mogadore, Ohio. (View online at http://www.faith-at-home.com/articles/lazyparent_ntk.html)